Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
vagina is talking i cant
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We need to get me chipped asap
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
