when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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