it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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