I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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