Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
