o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
