What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
