my vag is so smooth its legendary
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
