My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do vagina's smell?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
