I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
