me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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