You just made me feel so damn special
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
