They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize