if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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