I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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