P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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