I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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