Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
