I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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