singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
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