you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
