Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
