I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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