you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
