the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
