If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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