I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
