So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
