I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
