True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
