Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you inspire me to be a worse person
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
