Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
