Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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