He is such a slut. More and more my type.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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