Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
