Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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