You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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