did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
