oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
