i don't like sucking hair
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
