One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize