Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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