if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
