I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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