even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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