You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
