just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
