i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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