Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
