her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
