Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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