i think my mom watched the whole time
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
