Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
