so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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