sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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