this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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