His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
