grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
