I think i peed on brittanys purse
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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