You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
