the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
