haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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