actually, I'm a sock model
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
