I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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