I just cut my nipple shaving
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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