hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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