her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
