So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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