I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
