I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
