smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
