Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
