her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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