He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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